Something horrible happened to me this afternoon which I can’t seem to shake. For my friends wanting one of my next beauty hacks following the 5 Beauty Mistakes You Might Be Making post, I’ll be back with that in a couple of days time, sorry! Right, this is so difficult to talk about but I guess I’ll have to get on with it…
Huddersfield Town were playing for a place in the Premier League!
This afternoon my family and I decided to go to a local bar to support Huddersfield town (my local football club) play against Reading in a fight for a place in the premier league. Personally, I am not much of a football fan, but I really wanted to spend time with my family, feel the friendly atmosphere and get out of the house for a bit on the bank holiday weekend. It was such a nice change from being in the house and I got chatting with a few friendly people too. The place was absolutely packed, with everyone like sardines and it heated up very quickly!
Then I started feeling someone tap my shoulder
After about ten minutes of play I hear a man behind me complaining about how I was stood in front of him blocking his view. He then proceeded to tap me on the shoulder asking me to move. Being polite, I kindly pointed out that there was nowhere else to stand and offered for him to stand in front of me or to the side where there was more space. For some reason, he refused to listen to this and said that I should have got here earlier to get a better spot. I couldn’t understand it! There was tonnes of room around me for him to stand and there was nowhere else that I could have stood without blocking his view! On top of that, we didn’t have to pay for tickets into the pub, so it wasn’t like he was losing out on his money’s worth either!
The man kept on persistently tapping on my shoulder and getting more and more aggressive up to half time. He even started tapping on the people in front of me to move too. Thankfully, they backed me up and told him he had no right to talk to us like that when we had offered him our places. As it got to half time though, I decided to move and go outside because it had become too stuffy in the pub and I needed some fresh air.
I was completely unaware the worst was yet to come…
Even though it was raining outside, I really enjoyed the fresh air and decided to watch the second half on the screen at the back of the pub. I had found a spot on a bench away from all the smokers and with a parasol to shelter from the rain. It was what I saw next that horrified me.
Ten minutes before the end of the second half, I saw a familiar figure walking out of the pub towards me. It took me a second for my brain to click and realise that the man stood in front of me was my dad. He kept saying “Rose? Is that you?”. My heart stopped and I froze on the seat not knowing what to do.
At this point, I should probably explain that I have not seen my dad for almost eight years. He was awful to mum and I when we were younger and so we have both cut him out of our lives ever since. He sent the odd text from time to time, but I ignored them all as I felt too hurt to speak to him and cried myself to sleep on many occasions.
It was just horrific sitting there. He said he wanted to talk to me and try and make things better between us again. I spent the whole time feeling sick to my stomach not knowing what to do. Shortly after, mum came out and found me crying next to him. We all went completely at it from then on, allowing a few people nearby to hear about the details of our lives. He was in complete denial about what had happened. He kept saying that he had made an effort to be in my life again… whilst we were both disgusted at everything that had gone on, and suggested he see a psychiatrist.
But it had to come to an end eventually
In the end we were all soaked through to the bone from the rain so he said he was getting his coat to leave. The match was just a blur to me, I missed the ending and only found out we won from the jumping up and down happening around me. I couldn’t even move my legs to stand up as they had frozen in the cold. I felt, and still feel completely heartbroken and numb, as if the cars passing by me in the street weren’t real anymore. Our fractured relationship like a piece of fruit left out in the sun to go old and mouldy.
Another post tomorrow!
I’m honestly lost for words and struggling to concentrate on much right now, but I promise I will keep showing my love to all you lovely people out there! You are one of the things that keeps me going in times like this and I really appreciate all of the support you’ve been showing me.
Love to you all,